Meraki...

To say the very least, it's been a challenging year. I had a final with Stevens, and as finals in Solid State Electronics go, it was adequately challenging, but doable. Solid State II in 2014. There's a lot of breadth in physics as far as areas of study; I seem comfortable working in the area of the very, very small.

Without going into a lot of detail, I've had to fill in as operations manager on 2 night shifts while holding down a load in online graduate school. That yellow orb in your sky is for you day walkers...

I've also been thinking about Maslow's pyramid of basic needs. Initially, there were 5:

Simply Psychology

That list now includes beyond the apogee of actualization (and sandwiched right after Esteem: Cognitive Needs, Aesthetic Needs, THEN Self-Actualization and finally Transcendence. Elaborated further:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

So, as stressful as the year was, it was also rewarding.

It's the top of the hierarchical structure where I think many of us - STEM people included - become discouraged in the sheer difficulty of understanding, let alone mastery in your chosen field (many drop out and go the non-technical route mid matriculation); or, on-the-job many may get confused and frustrated by the slow pace of our careers; the biases we may encounter; the "politics" we say we don't play (but on certain levels, we all do). That frustration can lead you astray to outside interests that have no bearing on what, and more importantly: WHY you initially chose a career based on studying the hard sciences and applying them to solving problems. Astray meaning in activities outside of STEM; investing time in businesses that function more like authoritarian cults without structure and realistic goals whose achievements outside its echo chamber makes a notable difference in the world. Desperate for the esteem/actualization portions of this new, faux pyramid (and, INTJ types are not very good at selling), every conceivable person you meet becomes a "mark"; no relationship or conversation about the weather seems genuine. Social media automates the process of commodification. You loose yourself in this wilderness of distraction, departing from your "first love," when you did science for the sheer joy of it. I speak from experience.

Similar to Rubik's cubes (dating myself); crossword puzzles or Sudoku, self-actualization is at the end of any struggle in STEM. Every expert started out as a novice; every scientist and engineer have/had problems that stump (ed) them. You've put pencil-to-paper or spent hours banging at a keyboard to master a software package. Whole forests have died in wastebaskets due your efforts in Calculus, Chemistry, Differential Equations (affectionately referred to as "Diffy Q") or the Schrödinger equation; sweat, body odor, unkempt hair (if, unlike me, you have any) and for men at least, the "5 o'clock shadow" dominates. Like a chess match when you have your opponent in check; like a fencer that finds her/his mark, there is a euphoria that is quite pleasant; not sure if that's "transcendence." Two quotes from Einstein come to mind:

"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."


"Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas."

Looking forward to the middle of the pyramid now that this semester is over...and a shower.

"Word porn" on Facebook is the source of this post's title, an encouragement never to lose the poetry of mathematics; the transcendence (if, or not STEM) of your first love.